I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
