He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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