Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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