I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
