she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
