It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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