Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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