I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.