He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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