I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
