idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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