I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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