Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
