my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
