The maid of honor just puked.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
