Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
