What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
