doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
BRING THE BAGELS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
