Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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