ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
