You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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