Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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