Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am midnight drunk by noon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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