have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
