He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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