i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
