Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
