I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
