Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
