My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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