I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
