Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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