I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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