We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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