I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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