you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow