Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.