Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
