didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize