I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
