Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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