I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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