If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
