Taylor Swift is so right about you.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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