Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
