you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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