i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She needs sedatives and a leash
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
