Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
