i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
