good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
