shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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