Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize