i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
