mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
