Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
