i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
