Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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