no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i think im in europe. pls send help
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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