So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
