My girlfriend figured out who you are.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
