BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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