Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have started to decorate penises.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
