I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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