dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize