i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
worst night to have a conscience
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
