i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have peed in a lot of sinks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My life is pants optional.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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