There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
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Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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