She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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